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Catalyzing Growth in Relationships and Life Through a High Aspiration for Love
November 25, 2023 at 8:00 am - 10:00 am PST
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Do you truly wish to become deeply acquainted with your partner, family, and loved ones, discovering them as they are and as they evolve? This high aspiration for love can catalyze growth in your relationships and across life domains – join the discussion facilitated by Jacob Huber, founder of Revolutionary Character!
In this salon we will discuss effective pursuit of a high aspiration for love in our relationships, a particularly salient topic as the holidays near and we seek deeper connection! The ideal:
“I value honesty highly, and I deeply want to know the real you, not some fake mask you think will be easy for me to see. I would love it if you would tell me the truth. I promise never to torture you for it or hold it against you. I might experience some emotions, but I won’t blame them on you.” (1)
“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, kindness, respect, and affection.
Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.
Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed, and rare.” (2)
The discussion will center around the following questions:
- Intro – briefly introduce yourself and state what you wish you get out of this salon.
- What do you agree or disagree with in this ideal? How might you modify it for your specific context?
- How could adhering to a similar ideal benefit your relationships? Consider the relationship(s) between you and yourself, your partner, your friends, your family, acquaintances, coworkers, etc.
- How might it be difficult to adhere to this ideal?
- What tools or techniques can you use to overcome these difficulties?
- What specific intention can you commit to in pursuit of this ideal to deepen connection, intimacy, and love over the holidays? Make it specific and measurable!
- What highlights or aha moments did today’s discussions generate?
- Any questions, comments, or feedback?
The preparation for this salon is quite brief, please review the following material before attending:
- What is Experiential Avoidance? – A key barrier to confronting the difficulties inherent in growth (3.5 min video)
- Differentiation – A key skill to build intimacy and connection (1.5 page essay)
- The Stoplight Approach – a simple practice to use in emotionally-arousing discussions (0.5 page essay)
- Principles – general guidelines for an effective discussion (1.5 page web page)
- (Optional) Principles to Convert Theory to Action – guidelines on goal setting from the Revolutionary Character course content (11 page essay)
- (Optional) Love – essay on love from the Revolutionary Character course content (11 page essay)
- (Optional) 5 Steps to Enhance Quality of Connection With Yourself & Others During the Holidays & New Year (6.5 page newsletter)
1 – Kauppi, M. (2021). Polyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (and Their Clients). Rowman & Littlefield.
2 – Brown, B. (2012). Daring greatly: how the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent, and lead. https://ci.nii.ac.jp/ncid/BB12851855
