The Cold Feet Chronicles

The Cold Feet Chronicles: an investigation of romantic decision-making, with cold feet queen Diana Brown

Okay fine, I’ll go first. I’ve dated great people, and I’ve dated long enough to know roughly all who’s out there. At this point, the evidence suggests that a major obstacle to finding lifelong love might be, well, me. Specifically, my reluctance to simply choose someone.

Sound familiar? Romantic ambivalence is a common experience for those who date without the norms and obligations of culture, religion, or family that limit options, insist on certain criteria, and ultimately aid the decision-making. We celebrate our freedom of choice and yet, when it comes to love, we crave an emotional or spiritual experience so powerful that it practically compels us to choose, and ironically doesn’t feel like a choice at all. Stuck in ambivalence, with no sufficient reason to choose anyone, some of us spend years of our lives off from where we want to be. Some of us never get there.

The Cold Feet Chronicles will investigate six facets of the cold feet experience, that is, the experience of standing at the precipice of what could be a good romantic decision but hesitating to fully choose it. Each session will bring in a scholar to explore the way that ambivalence, boredom, embarrassment, delusion, collusion, and contention lurk in the background of our decision-making around love and romance. We’ll share stories and rigorously examine them. We’ll analyze the underlying logic and the hidden costs of our decisions, including our many ways of avoiding decisions.

Ultimately, The Cold Feet Chronicles are here to help us make decisions with clarity and courage. Thus our last session will be on that– courage.
In her book, On Marriage, Devorah Baum contrasts the decision-making logic of marriage and philosophy, observing that the married person says “yes” first and lets life follow, while the philosopher says “yes” only after she knows the terms upon which life will be lived. Modern dating norms encourage us to love like philosophers. This protects us from risk, but not from the quiet costs of passing time. What would it take to live the daring life, to part with alternatives and hypotheticals, to say “yes” to someone particular and then dive in? Would it be worth it? Is it even possible? Could we really get our minds, hearts, and bodies on board?

Let’s find out, together.

2nd and 4th Mondays of each month at 6 pm ET

Series tickets are available for purchase by members only.

Already have a membership? Sign in to get your series ticket!

Not a member?

Date	Episode
December 16, 2024	Ambivalence
January 13, 2025	Boredom
January 27, 2025	Embarrassment
February 10, 2025	Delusion
February 24, 2025	Collusion
March 10, 2025	Contention
March 24, 2025	Courage

Already have a membership? Sign in to get your series ticket!

---