The Cold Feet Chronicles

The Cold Feet Chronicles: an investigation of romantic decision-making with Diana Brown

The Atlantic recently declared a “crisis of faith in romance”. Researchers have named that men and women are growing apart and that this spells doom for the already plummeting marriage rates. What some have called “the rise of single America” is not the future; it is already here.

Cue the hand-wringing from the cultural right which links between marriage with well-being and insists people should settle down and just choose someone already. Cue the cheering from the cultural left which hand-waves away the loneliness and disappointment singles often face and celebrates these changes as signs of societal progress. Neither is sufficiently caring or curious about what it is like making relationship decisions today.

Next, enter The Cold Feet Chronicles–my goofy name for this seven-part conversation series examining those intimate moments of decision-making around partnership and commitment in order to illuminate what’s happening and articulate what is at stake. After all, it is in these isolated, interior choices– of yes, of no, of prolonged maybes, and of refusals to answer-–where this existential drama takes place. As culture, religion, and family play a diminishing role in guiding marriage and family formation, individuals are left alone with their murky hearts to make some of the most consequential decisions of their lives. And as Rachel Wiseman recently wrote about the choice of whether to have children, romantic decision-making is simply “too important to allow it to be a casualty of the culture war.”

Here, we want to make the heart less murky. Each session will host a conversation and Q&A with a scholar with insight on certain under-discussed anxieties that often lurk unnoticed in relationship decisions (among many other things.) We’ll explore how ambivalence, boredom, embarrassment, envy, irritation, and self-deception show up and shape contemporary dating. Ultimately, the goal is to gain clarity on what it is we are really choosing and courage to own up to our choices, whatever they may be. Thus our last session will be on that: courage.

You can buy a series ticket for access to all seven sessions and their recordings, or buy tickets for individual sessions that interest you. You may sign up looking for personal guidance, or because you are curious about modern trends in dating, family formation, and partnership styles, or because you want to enjoy rich discussions on topics relevant to many spheres of life besides relationships. All are welcome.

Our first session will be entitled “Ambivalence & the Gamble of Slow Love” with Anastasia Berg, professor of philosophy at UC Irvine and Editor of The Point. Our second session will be with professor of philosopher and theologian Adam S. Miller on the topic of boredom. Other speakers to be announced soon.

2nd and 4th Mondays of each month at 6 pm ET

Series tickets are available for purchase by members only.

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Date	Episode
December 16, 2024	Ambivalence
January 13, 2025	Boredom
January 27, 2025	Embarrassment
February 10, 2025	Delusion
February 24, 2025	Collusion
March 10, 2025	Contention
March 24, 2025	Courage

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