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Sparks Between Us: Unveiling Our Shadow Selves

August 27, 2021 at 11:00 pm - 2:00 am SMT

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“Isn’t it remarkable, and seriously wonderful, that there’s still not a single shadow between us? And you know what, the best thing of all is that I’m not afraid of the shadows. When they come (as I suppose they must, for all those who care for one another), I think we can manoeuvre our way through them.”

― Tove Jansson, in a letter to lover Tuulikki Pietilä


Creative culture has produced tender, passionate love letters from great love affairs for centuries. Despite this, the fear of judgement can eclipse our need for bonding, particularly with those we are intimate with. 

Why are some of our parts easier to express? Are there shadow sides we ‘protect’ our lovers from? Are there dark sides we are not ready to confront?

The closer we are to someone, the greater our desire to hide away and shield ourselves with masks and pretenses. To let someone in, to express our feelings of guilt, shame, anxiety, anger…is a terrifying thing to do, especially if we are pre-conditioned to suppress our emotions. What would it take for us to open our hearts and let love in?


“Despair and Deception, Love’s ugly little twins”

― Nick Cave, Let Love In


In this salon, we’ll explore our light and dark sides through the Johari Window Model. We will explore our multitudes in relation to the person we are most intimate with, understand why we protect ourselves from our loved ones, and learn how to fully present ourselves as one.

How will we prepare ourselves for love?


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

― Anaïs Nin


About Sparks Between Us

This new track of monthly Interintellect Salons by two secret ii hosts explores the varying levels of intimacy in sex and relationships.

Save the date: this track of ii Salons will run on the fourth Friday of every month. Step into the ii comfort inn for a cathartic conversation in vulnerability, intimacy, and sexuality.

Bring with you your senses, courage, and an open mind. Homophobia, sexism, racism will not be tolerated in our discussions. 

This salon launches an ongoing series for connection-curious individuals on the fourth Friday of each month. Enter into a suspended ‘comfort inn’ to ask your burning questions in sex & relationships: We’ll explore ‘dark sides’, sexual chemistry, monogamy & polyamory, kink & shame, the ‘fleeting lover concept’, and more.


Pre-Salon Preparation

Please familiarise yourself with The Johari Window Model, and bring along some pen and paper for this salon.



Whatever we share in the Comfort Inn is private and sacred. Zoom screenshots will be obscured and chat logs anonymised before documentation.


Reading List

The Johari Window Model

Why I Live a Double Life

I Long to Read More in the Book of You

The Sense Audit w/ Norman Chella (Podcast: 48m)

Not So Easy Going

The Way of The Mask

4 Carl Jung Theories Explained: Persona, Shadow, Anima/Animus, The Self



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August 27, 2021
11:00 pm - 2:00 am SMT
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